


Flightless Bird

by castielatlas



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, F/M, NejiTen - Freeform, Tenten centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-12 18:10:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2119725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielatlas/pseuds/castielatlas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tenten realized with a cruel irony that the only person she wanted to talk to about Neji Hyuuga’s death, was Neji himself."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 614 / Tenten's reaction to Neji's death.
> 
> (draft edited. two chapters for the update.)

 

“Neji Hyuuga is dead.”

 

The words crossed her mind like a bullet, and Tenten stood paralysed in the battlefield. It took a moment for her brain to assimilate the information, for her heart to acknowledge it. Around her she could hear the battle still happening, echoes of people screaming, flesh being sliced, bodies hitting the ground in a final collision, a wild bird flying in the sky, mindless of her and how her world had abruptly stopped turning.

 

 _"People share only one common fate,"_ Neji’s voice echoed distantly in her head, his voice clear and so, so much alive. _"Death."_

 

Tenten felt Lee’s chakra getting messy next to her as he broke their formation, and she watched him run and crouch where Neji was supposed to be. She couldn’t bring herself to get any closer. She couldn’t bring herself to look anywhere else than Lee’s shaking back, not allowing herself to process who he was holding in his arms.

 

Tenten knew that to be able to deal with death was an inevitable expectation coming with the job. She had chosen this life with full knowledge and consent. Ninjas protect others people’s life with theirs. They either take lives or theirs is taken. They don't get to dwell on themselves about the upcoming.

 

As morbid as it could sound, coming to terms with the probability of her own death had been the easiest. Tenten had never been a wet chicken to begin with, so she quickly learned that fear, hesitation and cowardice had no place in a fight, not if one wants to earn the title of Weapon Mistress of Konoha. Tenten beat herself into that philosophy until she acquired the skills to fight level-headed; adrenaline dulling the fear and physical pain, her determination fueling her. If she died, she would as a ninja accomplishing her mission, and she was okay with it.

 

Taking a life was not so easy so process. The first time, she had done it from afar. She had thrown a kunai with the intention to kill, and it had done exactly what it was meant to do, as it hit her enemy’s heart. At that moment, Tenten had realized that she was not just a shield, protecting lives; she was also a weapon, taking them. Immediately when they had taken a break after that, Gai-sensei had taken her apart to have a long, reassuring talk with her, being more serious than she’d ever seen him. He had told her exactly what she repeated herself now still: It was nothing personal. It was kill or get killed. She had done good. She was accomplishing the mission.

As years passed, she had stopped trying to wash away the blood on her hands, as she knew it was both useless and stupid. She took no pleasure from taking a life, but she didn't mourn her enemies, either. They were nameless soldiers to her, just like she would be a nameless soldier to them.

 

But then, there was the probability no amount of training could prepare a shinobi for. Then there was the big, scary possibility Tenten had managed to avoid until a few minutes before on the battlefield: facing the death of someone you love.

As an orphan, Tenten was no stranger to loss. She had lost her parents before she even knew them. She had lost her home when Konoha had been destroyed. As years went by, she had lost her innocence. On the field, she had lost comrades.

But these didn’t need mourning. At least not the way this reality would as the destructive words stammered her head and heart.

 

_Neji Hyuuga is dead. Neji Hyuuga is dead. Neji Hyuuga is dead._

 

Tenten closed her eyes to shut off the loud, ugly thoughts and emotions threatening to overflow. She knew what was expected of her. Tenten could feel it, the anger and despair messing with her, just wanting to explode out of her. But she stayed still.

_Never show your emotions._

 

She wasn’t allowed to break yet. She knew everyone around her understood that they couldn’t. They were Ninjas and it was War. They had duties, responsibilities, and they couldn’t afford to be in grief, to mourn; not now, not in battle, not in front of their enemy, not when millions of lives depended on their victory. They had to endure, they had to be united and focused.

Tenten’s fingers tightened on her kunai as Naruto touched her to share his chakra, and she exhaled. Something deep in her bones would not allow her to break just yet. It would be meaningless. Useless. _You have a mission_ , she told herself.

 

For hours, she fought with her mind on autopilot. Throw, slice, kill. Protect Naruto. Hit, jump, throw, slice, kill. Protect Naruto. Jump, throw, slice, slice, slice, kill. Protect Naruto. Repeat.

After what felt like years, the battle finally stopped. Tenten wasn’t quite sure how, but they had won. Her knees buckled as people started to yell and scream and cry in relief, and her body hit the ground with a solid thud, a singular emptiness filling her as she failed to understand what she was supposed to do now that the fight was over.

Tenten laid on the ground as the world spun around her, her body unable to move, her mind unwilling to make it. After a while, a medical team rushed to her and the kunoichi let them examine and start healing her, treating most of her life threatening wounds. She heard them say that she had 4 broken ribs and numerous nasty cuts, yet she didn’t feel anything. Adrenaline was probably still dulling her senses.

They kept asking her to let go of the kunai she had in her hand, but with all the good will in the world, she didn’t manage to. She was still clutching it when she blacked out.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The first sensation Tenten felt when she drifted awake, was not the pain of her tired muscles nor the stinging of her still fresh healing wounds. It was not the singular itch of bandages on raw skin, the pungent smell of disinfectant, nor the buzzing around her as she lied in bed, all rushed steps and heavy whispers.

It all came after. First, it had been the strange and scary emptiness of her hand when she had clenched her fist, expecting the reassuring pressure of her kunai in her palm, and an overwhelming sense of dread filled her as she shot her eyes open, raising herself in a sitting position abruptly, inexplicable panic starting to fill her.

She winced, her wounded body protesting the effort. She quickly scanned her environment, all her senses in alert –an improvised medical unit. There were about 20 people moving around and approximately a hundred others’ lying in beds, like her. As she forced her eyes to come into focus, she saw that they all wore the Allied Shinobi Force headband. _You’re safe_ , her brain let her know. Yet somehow, she couldn’t manage to relax.

“Tenten!” Lee’s voice came to her ears.

The kunoichi’s eyes landed on her team-mate as he rushed toward her, leaving the medical-nin he was speaking with behind without a glance back. A warm feeling filled Tenten upon seeing her friend and when he crashed in her arms, she wrapped hers around him despite her aching body.

“You’re safe, you’re good, you’ll be fine! You’re fine-” he started babbling, tightening his grip around her.

“Lee,” Tenten eventually grunted, his embrace threatening to bruise her ribs even more.

He let go of her immediately upon hearing her, and processed to drown in apologies. Knowing Lee and his extravagance for years, Tenten could still feel his genuine distress.

“I’m sorry…” he whispered, voice tight as he bowed his head. “I’m really sorry.”

Tenten felt a strange heaviness weight on her stomach.

“How is Gai-sensei?” she hazarded.

Lee raised his head, taken aback by the sudden question.

“He was wounded too,” he started. “But they treated him on the spot and he left with Kakashi-sensei, they’re reuniting some kind of board-“

“Good,” Tenten cut him, as she had the main information she needed. Gai-sensei was fine. “Hinata-san?”

Lee blinked. “Hinata-san… she is with Naruto, I think.”

“Great,” Tenten nodded.

Hinata was fine. Naruto too, apparently. Good. That was good. Who else?

“Tenten-“

Tenten fisted her empty hand -her stupid, useless, weaponless hand. Who else did he care about? Who else had to be alive? Who-

“Tenten,” Lee gripped her hand, and she raised her eyes to meet his, glistening with tears. “I’m-“

“Lee,” she cut him. _Please, don’t._

She loved Lee, but she really couldn’t do that with him. Not now. He was too much, right now. She was conscious that she was probably being a terrible friend, but she just couldn’t listen to whatever would leave his mouth now.

They settled into a tensed silence and Tenten closed her eyes, inhaling.

“Where is he?” she finally breathed.

Lee didn’t answer right away, but she knew he understood what exactly what she was asking. She suspected that he was trying to calm himself down, or at least control his emotions -which required a lot of diligence for someone as expressive as the Green Beast of Konoha. Tenten appreciated his efforts.

“They… took him. With the others,” Lee murmured. “There is a special unit, until we bring everyone back to Konoha…”

Brushing the covers aside, Tenten made a move to get up and swayed a little, but Lee caught her. He opened his mouth, but Tenten cut him again before he could speak, squeezing his hand. With a certain other person, it would have been enough to make him understand everything she wanted, but it was Lee, so she added, “Help me get there?”

Tenten could see her friend debate with himself, probably wondering if this decision was wise considering her condition.

“Lee,” the kunoichi pressed.

Her team-mate knew her too well to know that even if he said no, she would find a way to get there anyway -probably on her own, which would be even more risky. Yet, truth be told, even if Tenten could do it on her own, she didn’t want to. Despite his lack of delicacy and understanding of some things, Lee remained Tenten’s best friend, and she needed his support now more than ever.

“Please,” she murmured with a quiet desperation that was foreign in her mouth.

Lee landed his eyes on her and stared for several seconds before he quietly nodded in acceptance.

“Hold onto me,” he said as he brought an arm around her, mindful of her bruised ribs and made her wrap hers around his waist.

Several medical-nins started to protest when they saw them trying to leave, and Lee tightened his grip around Tenten and jumped away, too fast for any of the medical staff to follow.

 

It only took Lee a few minutes to bring them to their destination, and when they entered the big white tent, Tenten felt a cold shower pour over her. Similarly to the medical unit, hundreds of beds were aligned -the difference was that the people lying on it were covered by white sheets, and there was no chakra signature emanating from them. Dead bodies. Hundreds and hundreds of dead bodies.

It didn’t smell like anything but dirt and heat, and Tenten was sure someone had done something to cast the singular odor of death away, and she secretly thanked the stranger. Everything was terrible enough; she didn’t need another one of her senses to be overwhelmed.

Someone came to meet them, and as Lee pronounced Neji’s name in a shaky voice, Tenten tried to ignore the way her heart constricted in her chest upon hearing her other team-mate's same, her stomach protesting at the mere the idea of Neji being here.

“From Konohagakure... We put the Hyuuga family members over there,” the person motioned to the left corner, before bowing. “Sorry for your loss.”

Lee dragged Tenten with him as he bowed in return, before he gripped her hand, following the directions given. As they hovered between the beds, Tenten noticed that most beds had a tiny wrist band at the foot, a name written on it. Most of the names were unknown to her, but truthfully, she was propably too distracted to notice even if one was.

“Here,” Lee finally whispered, squeezing her hand.

Tenten turned to face the bed Lee was facing. She glanced at the wrist band at the foot. _Neji Hyuuga._

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” her best friend asked, his voice shaky but soft and making Tenten terrified of the kind of world she lived in, now, with Lee talking like a normal person, being more tempered than she had ever seen him. What a scary world.

Tenten didn’t answer. Instead, she lifted her free hand to grab the white sheet covering the body on the bed in front of them. With nothing to grasp, her shaking was evident. She lifted the sheet in one swift motion, and then she let her arm fall back at her side like a useless lump as her eyes laid on the boy lying in front of her.

 

 _“Neji Hyuuga is dead,”_ they had said.

 _“Neji Hyuuga,”_ the wristband said.

 _“Neji,”_ Lee’s sad eyes said every time he looked at her.

 

Tenten realized with a cruel irony that the only person she wanted to talk to about Neji Hyuuga’s death, was Neji himself.

But in front of her lied Neji’s lifeless body, and all Tenten could think about was how much alive he used to be. All she could see were the moments she had spent with him all these years, scrolling in front of her eyes, like birds flying away.

 

 

When she had first met Neji, his reputation had already preceded him, and she wasn't surprised when he turned out to be cold, arrogant and unfriendly. Still, at the time, she didn’t mind. She wasn’t fascinated by the person; she was in admiration of the fighter, the pure genius. Neji was  _her_ team-made and she couldn't dream of a best position to learn from him.

Team Gai was known for its intense training sessions and although it was mostly because of Lee and Gai-sensei's insane bets, the two other members of the team didn't slack the slightest.

Neji never let himself get caught up in the two green beast's ridiculous games, but he trained with the dedication and severity that was expected from a Hyuuga, even more so because Neji was particularly severe. Tenten would take the best of both worlds to melt it with hers. She fueled the fire in her spirit with Gai-sensei and Lee's never ending energy, and would improve her self-control and quiet strength observing and training with Neji.

Neji never took her under her wing nor slowed his pace for her, but it was never what she wanted from the start.  She didn't miss any opportunity of observe, imbibe herself in the way he was thinking about strategies, learning from his moves and techniques and sharp mind, listening to his harsh and blunt judgment of her skills and trying to find ways to improve. She valued him as a fighting comrade. She wanted to learn from the best to become better. 

 

It was nothing more and probably never would have been, until Naruto came into their life. 

The Orange ninja and the Hyuuga’s battle was one of the most memorable fights to ever take place in the Chuunin Examination Arena. Memorable for the quality of the fight, but more importantly, for the game-changing finale: a Hyuuga had lost against what everyone at the time called a loser.

As a punch in the face of destiny, Naruto’s fists and words changed something in Neji. The cold anger that seemed to have fueled his entire life and tainted his every interaction, the burden weighing on everything he did and said, had been lifted.

His personality didn’t shift drastically -but slowly, steadily, the cold and unbreakable shell Neji Hyuuga was hiding behind started to fade. It showed in small and imperceptible ways, unnoticeable by an outsider’s eye, but not to Tenten. Never Tenten.

 

She started noticing during training.

He didn’t get soft on her, they would still spar roughly and get scratches and bruises, but he would simply be… gentler. He would avoid hurting her if possible; ask her if she was okay when he feared he did. He would help her get up. Bandage her wounds.

With Lee, he would still roll his eyes at him and generally keep snapping at him as the boy remained a challenge to endure, but never once would he call him a loser again. He would actually treat him like a worthy adversary and valued comrade and eventually, friend.

 

During missions, Tenten noticed that he didn’t consider them like random partners anymore, but actual team-mates.

If their fighting strategies usually gave Tenten the position of Neji’s blind spot protector, the boy never looked like he remotely included her in his personal fighting strategies. But then, during their first mission as Chuunins, after a particularly difficult fight that would have left Neji severely injured if it wasn’t for Tenten’s watch on his blind spot and her sharp reflexes, the kunoichi confronted the Hyuuga.

“You have a blind spot, Neji,” she had said, her voice echoing the messy mix of emotions she felt. Annoyance at his carelessness. Worry he almost got hurt -relief he didn't. And pride _she_ had saved the day. “You’re lucky I was there.”

“I wasn’t lucky,” he had shrugged, casual. “I knew you had my back.”

He hadn’t said anything more and went on with his business, leaving Tenten dumbfounded by the revelation. Neji Hyuuga actually trusted her with his back. He trusted her abilities enough to leave her his most and only vulnerable spot, and apparently referred to it as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

 

Time kept passing, and Tenten started noticing the smallest things and yet, the biggest steps. More than noticing, she started enjoying the changes, treasuring them.

She would always remember the first time she heard Neji laugh.

She had made a joke as they were both watching Lee trying to climb a three without using his hands or feet, Gai-sensei long gone, when a laugh had resonated by her side, and she had turned toward Neji with utter shock, unsure he had been the one making the sound. Neji Hyuuga was laughing. It was not a snicker nor a bitter snort. No, it was a genuine, sincere laugh, and it sounded so natural and so  _pure_  she had felt utterly overwhelmed. For a reason she couldn't yet grasp, it felt so much more important than just a laugh. It sounded like light. It sounded like hope.

Tenten started liking his annoyed sighs when she and Lee were teasing him about his little habits and obsessions, how he would roll his eyes at their comments; the way he frowned when he didn’t understand something and the serious look he had when he was focused on something; the face he made when he ate spicy food and his soothing aura when he meditated; the group-hugs he was dragged in, how he would say that it was awkward and unnecessary, but still wouldn't push them away.

She loved the nights when they trained late, sometimes just the two of them because their team-mate was too busy with his own weird training. They’d exhaust their bodies and then lie in the grass, next to each other, watching the stars. 

 

Mostly, Tenten treasured the changes in their relationship. It went unnoticed to the world, like most things about Neji, but it was undeniable that their understanding of each other, their trust and complicity ran deeper than friendship.

Each other’s presence became natural, and when they didn’t interact for too long, Tenten would feel longing ache in her chest. As fate would have it, Neji seemed to be uncomfortable loosing contact, too, and if they went on missions separately, they’d naturally seek the other as soon as they’d hand off their report.

Tenten would initiate their first hug, a “welcome back” hug she had been unable to hold back and that he had, surprisingly, returned. It had been a little too tight, a little too long and close to be just a casual embrace, but none of them mentioned it.

Casual touches quickly started to settle between them. Only it wasn’t really casual, because Neji never did things without reasons and always remained in utter control of every inch of his body. Even if he had open up, he still valued his personal space, and touching him casually was something people knew better than to do.

So when Neji started doing seemingly-innocent things such as brushing fingers with Tenten for no apparent reason, she let him do so a little, at first, and then took him by surprise by reaching back, and smirked upon seeing his surprised expression before noticing his blush and blushing herself, like teenagers -which they were.

Mere brushes turned into more lingering touches, fingers mindlessly reaching for the other’s. Time apart no longer became an excuse for comforting hugs, and they’d find themselves in each other’s arms every time longing let itself known and they were away from curious eyes.

Their first kiss followed the course of things naturally. It was a chaste, soft brush of lips, and it still burned in the back of Tenten’s mind how it felt like nothing had ever felt so _right_  before. They’d share different ones after that; some heated and passionate and burning her intensely, mostly happening in the quiet of the night. Others were softer and slower, feeling like coming Home.

Neji was never a talker, that much didn’t change. But years of being team-mates had taught them that they didn’t necessarily need them. The morning before leaving for the final battle, everything had been said through eye-contact and hidden smiles and brush of fingers and stolen kisses.

 

 

And now there she was. Contemplating his dead body, coming to terms with the fact that everything that he was -that they were- was gone.

She wanted to be mad at him for leaving her, but how could she?

He had died protecting his sister, protecting the person who had freed him from his destiny of misfortune. More than dying to protect most important person in the Ninja world, more than applying his Ninja’s duties, Neji had died for a  _friend_. And she knew, oh she was sure of it, he had died smiling. Because he was that kind of person; he had  _become_ that kind of person.

Tenten brushed her fingers against Neji’s forehead as she remembered the eagle she had seen when she had heard the world-shattering news, in the middle of the battle. The wild bird flying in the big blue sky, beautiful,  _free_.

She chuckled, a broken sound that sounded more like a sob, and Lee squeezed her hand. She took a step closer and kissed Neji's naked forehead, feeling treacherous tears roll down her cheeks as she closed her eyes, the sob caught in her throat and a heavy weight sitting on her chest, and yet, she smiled.

 

Neji’s mark was gone. He wasn’t a caged bird anymore.


End file.
